As always, my notes are very biased. Usually when I use deductive reasoning method - proceed from their own reasons, and we added, thinking that because I, as a person, only a fraction of the total. And usually it comes down to me with it.
But it never occurred to him that in fact belong to a particular group can lead to certain rules of the game. As a member of the informal something invisible pay fees and receive the very visible signs, such as pioneer or tie icon union. But most of these signs of belonging to a particular group are expressed not in things, but in the similar experience feelings of living in similar conditions. It integrates as to unify people, and it is easier to communicate within their categories on the basis of this similarity. Especially like to think it is not necessary, because there is an invisible scenario in which roles are clearly written, and the motion is set.
It would be naive to believe that I was marrying an American, she has made something unique. Admittedly, a lot of women my age - say, within the broad framework, over eighteen - about the same time, somewhere in the past ten years, approximately the same area - the former Soviet Union went abroad for the purpose of marriage. This is mainly North America and Europe. But when I got married, I was something about this particular did not reflect. I'm more worried about my future husband. His personal qualities, the size of the income, in what area he lives, and whether he would take care of me and my family. I was worried as I enter in a new environment, it is enough to be my English will be useful if my housekeeping skills, and will meet the educational level of my new society. What will I do in their free breeding roses decorating the living room while, to be honest, I somehow did not think much. After all, I'm going to marry. All that lay outside this scope, such as not particularly care. After all, my Russian language remained with me, I had intended to go and see the family on a regular basis, and at all - somehow will understand. In addition to the Russian language, I was still with me, and common sense.
Also talked my girlfriend. Friends of friends, someone's colleague, a woman, a neighbor from the floor below, and remember Nina - all of them one by one, slowly disappeared into the expanses of attractive overseas. From there, only occasionally manifested beautiful pictures - bride in finery with her fiance in the wedding carriage, happy mother hugging children in the background groomed farm during the tour, no background couple hugging, happy eyes alone. Think and ask questions about the details - and how there works the social sphere, and what interest rate of taxes, where to go for medical field - there was no time. Because so much time was spent in conversation, on viewing the beautiful pictures, learning English, computer skills, moral training of children and their parents to a new life. As well as purchasing souvenirs, clothes, dowry - in fact married abroad gathered in a long, fun trip. And went, went, went ...
Probably only about three years and a half after coming to America, I suddenly realized that I came. What I'm here and I live here, and that most of all, I live here the rest of my days. Well, or at least my husband is still alive. Because he is an American, and most likely he will never agree to move to another country. And it is home to the birth, and I have yet to make this place their home. And as the English did not teach, still will not be a second language, to put it politically correct. In fact, it is a foreign language. And Russian, great and mighty, will dream at night, like fried potatoes and wooden architecture - Restores reality. And Russian girlfriend become sisters, and their children are nephews and nieces, and their moms and dads, accidentally broken through with them, aunts and uncles. We all become one family.
A US family and relatives will stay with their customs and habits, their skeletons in the closet (English proverb), turkeys for Thanksgiving with them will have to spend a vacation, go to restaurants and exchange gifts. Wonderful, wonderful people, and who will recognize, but less of it will not be Americans. After all, they are at home.
The issue of work will be sharper if before there was an illusion that is learn English and work there, it is now clear that there is also such a thing as the situation on the labor market, and certain conditions are met. But disappointment was not and will not be, because from experience we can say that in this country it is difficult abyss. The system is too stable, and being not perfect, offers quite comprehensible conditions.
And all of a sudden illness of society will own disease, because in the new conditions, new ailments - both literally and figuratively. But that there is a benefit - a refresher once produced by the immune system. And disappointment, in fact, not. As well, and special openings. I just married an American and live in a new country.
And not just me. My dear, wonderful friend - gave birth to children in a new country, or to arrange job seekers engaged in creative work, taking classes, continues to teach English and learn new realities - they all go through it. And we're talking about this, we discuss the details of our new life, and we are living the same thing. We just do not think again that is not a priority. We have no time to think, we live. Once married, then you have to go.
Our large house with her husband in the prestigious kommyuniti with swimming pool in the courtyard, surrounded by roses, his three children, educated enough to take care of her stepmother, family dinners, trips to new countries - my family life. My search of work and his place in the new society, attempts to adapt, nostalgia for the homeland and family - this is my own. No husband, no American, Russian, Swedish or Italian, can help me to pass this way. It's too complicated, it's too personal, it's too intimate. And as if I did not love my husband, I have to take care of yourself. About his beloved, beautiful about yourself, about yourself ...
And leave me, I take root - the new, American soil, remaining Inozemka - with a strange accent and other characteristics. Let us say, let us write about, let us criticize, praise, let us take pride in or curse, let us weep, let us forget about - but we live, we breathe, we are building a new life.
Russian brides in America